Knowing that painful events are part of life doesn't ease our pain. This gentle guidance aims to sustain you and your loved ones through difficult times.

Physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually, you may experience:

• Shock may manifest as a rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, chest tightness, dizziness, or feelings of anger and helplessness.

• Panic may include sensations similar to shock, such as a racing heart, breathlessness, chest tightness, dizziness, or feeling overwhelmed.

• You may find it hard to sleep, have trouble thinking clearly, or feel unable to absorb new information.

• A lack of motivation to care for yourself, such as bathing, eating, or doing basic daily tasks, may occur.

• You may notice intense or persistent anger that feels difficult to manage.

• Experiencing a sense of abandonment or feeling punished; struggling to reconcile with your chosen faith, if you have one.

• Overthinking may appear as repetitive focus on distressing thoughts or scenarios.

• Self-blaming, such as feeling responsible for an action you did or did not take that you believe could have prevented the tragic event.

The following is offered in hopes of supporting you at this vulnerable time:

• If First Responders are involved, ask whether they have a social worker or chaplain on call to assist you in the immediate aftermath. They are prepared to offer resources and gentle support.

• If you have clergy you trust, have someone call them on your behalf.

• Try not to be alone in the days ahead; if friends or family are available, allow their support. Accept kindness from others as you process difficult emotions.

• Not everyone will know how to support you. You may not be able to relate to others easily. Accept well-intentioned kindness as you process your emotions.

• Keep key contact info nearby, including the contact info for health providers who can help you cope.

Feelings and what to do:

• It's normal for extreme grief, anger, feelings of helplessness, and fears to arise. Emotions may surface in waves and may feel overwhelming.

• Turn to your most trusted person. If you have a pet, cherish them; they may just want to be close to you. Their needs can help you step "away from yourself" for a bit.

• Practice deep breathing. One helpful technique that can reduce anxiety and help you rest involves breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds.

• Meditation or other peaceful music can gently carry you to a calmer place.

• Focus on a simple task, like organizing a drawer, to ease overthinking.

In the days ahead:

• Start your day with a warm bath or shower, clean clothing, and ask for help as needed. Stay hydrated, avoid alcohol or non-prescribed drugs, and eat simple, nourishing meals with support from a caring friend. Keep your comfort items close.

• Stay hydrated. Avoid alcohol or any drug not prescribed for you.

• Eat mindfully. Ask a caring friend to prepare or obtain simple meals for the days ahead.

• Locate your comfort items and keep them close.

Have a friend gather support numbers for you. For confidential help, text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor anytime, day or night.